What’s My Deal
No, I’m not the Queen of the Cul de Sac. If I was, I’d be too busy with all my loyal subjects and parties to write this. I’m a city girl, but always being up for something new I agreed to move to the suburbs and live amongst the natives. Once there I realized I was out of my element- no devotees of The New Yorker, no corner organic fruit stands and lots and lots of cars. I found out that people don’t actually talk over fences and borrow cups of sugar out here and that having a graduate degree in esoteric fields does not make you a hit at cocktail parties. Also, there are no cocktail parties- there are bring a rolling cooler of beer parties. After falling a bit flat at this new life I started to lose it a little. I’m better now, thanks. But, I have consigned myself to the reality of being an outsider here (and since my internet porn conglomerate went bust), I had some time on my hands. Since my friends, my city friends, thought my stories of suburban life were hilarious (easy for them to say from their high rises and stream lined public transportation) I figured I would post them for the world to see. I live here with my two children and a husband who thinks I exaggerate everything. Everything is true, but the names and details are changed as I am striving for anonymity so that my neighbors don’t hate me- more than they already do.